If Tommorow Never Comes

by Ronan Keating

i've never reveal my true feelings about losing my one and only brother. every time i told someone about him, the moment he went away, i smiled. i smiled because i was thankful that i had those moments with him. maybe by revealing this letter i wrote a while ago might give you the rough idea about how deeply i adore a guy by the name of Mohd Azeem Abdullah.

Dear Abang (or Azeem),
How are you up there? i don't mind if you can't reply back to me but if you're watching what i'm doing, listen up! You must have noticed how different i looked since you last saw me! well, i'm more grown up and more mature. i know by writing to you, people who will read must think i'm delusional or forgotten my faith (perhaps). honestly, i need someone to talk to and i don't expect any reply. i felt a relief writing and pretending that i'm writing to you.
remember the day when we played wrestling and you hit my nose and it bleed? at that time i thought it was super cool (i'm that weird). and you've cracked my back when i was 8 years old? mom went nuts! i had to lay on my back for 2 weeks! remember your 1st girlfriend and you've introduce her to me! her brother fancied me however i rejected him (because i was to young to know what love is).
i went through all of my diaries and i found your signature. at that time i knew you were reading my diary. somehow, you've left a mark. remember the time when things were rough and we had to stay with pakcik? as i grew older, i realized at that time, actually we were homeless.mom did it all she could for us. i hope when mom leaves, you'll greet her with love. but allow me to spoil her first!
you must have been furious with me regarding the guys that i've dated. honestly, i've learned my lessons. you've shown me how boys function. i wanted to make a story about you. something to show my appreciation towards you. but i couldn't come up with something good. i'll make sure the guy who plays you are as handsome as you!harharhar!
i still haven't figure out why on earth would you ask for nasi ayam for you last meal. i terribly sorry that i didn't tapau you one. but how i wished that you went out with me and alang to bukit bintang on that day. well, it has happened so shall let it be. i wish i could have your personality, your charm, and your bravery (although deep down inside you're a chicken!=D). only Allah SWT know why he loved you more.

i love you, abang <3

p/s : say hi to mak ngah, wan, nur faiznur, aziah, atuk,and yasmin ahmad for me. and ayah, i'm deeply sorry that i didn't spend time with you on your last days. i wasn't ready but i guess i'm too late. hope you'll forgive me.

sincerely, aisyah