It's Hard to Get Around the Wind

by Alex Turner



I told myself again and again that I need to do something to distract myself and not let the tiredness gets in the way. I need my me time and I chose this blog to become one of my outlets to do that. However for some reason, I've became fearful of what people would think of it. It never occurs to me that I would felt this way knowingly that my mental issues had already been out in the open. Coming out to people was hard and I was blessed with those who would held my had and told me that they will be there for me no matter what. Years gone by, people that I love started to feel frustrated. They didn't convey it verbally however being the sensitive person I am, I almost could see it in their eyes. It sounded like, "Oh my God! Here we go again!" And I don't blame them, honest. As I get frustrated about stuff too, like listening to the voices inside my head.

Slowly, I close my door. Slowly, I build up walls. Slowly, I started wearing a new mask. Slowly, my body would react violently towards little things like lightning, loud noise and so on. My senses amplified but my heart, my confidence, my strength and my dignity became small. And yet, I blamed myself because I have few people who despite their frustration, is still rooting for me at the moment.