2013 is coming to an end. How time flies and how we've learned about life each day. We redefine things that suits our beliefs and our lifestyles. And as we aged, we tend to see things differently, or trying to. Again, we make new friends and bid farewell to some. This is what I've learned this year:
- Its okay to stumble. What matters the most is that you pick yourself up, and continue to walk again.
There's alot of things that could trigger you emotionally. You can't run away from the things that would eventually stress you out. Regardless, you'll have to choose to face it and not run away. Because if you run, that fear would eventually greet you again like an old friend.
- Happiness comes from yourself. Don't depend it on others.
People have their own shit to think about. Yes, there is people who would care about your shit to. But they can't always be there 24/7. By the end of the day, you would have to find your own happiness in order to believe that you are standing on your two own feet.
- Love yourself before you can love someone else.
Yes, you might find someone who's as fucked up as you are. But if you don't love yourself, how in the world you can make that person love you. Because the reality is, you expect that person to love you just the way you are although subconsciously, you are rejecting the idea. Acceptance is the key. Although you're not born with a bodacious rack and a hot junk, there's something beyond the physical image that sets you off from the others. Love yourself because you're unique.
- Money is never everything. Although you are thought that money is important.
Don't deny the fact that money can give you security, can take you to places and can provide food and shelter. But don't put money on the top of your pyramid (pie chart or whatever). Although it's nice to have fancy things, eat at a fancy restaurant, but it would only gives you a short period of satisfaction. Then, you would want more. But it's always hard to sustain that feeling because like I said, it's short.
- You body is your crown jewel.
It's very important to take care of yourself, health wise. You'll come to a point where your body starts to rebel. Every junk that you've consume for years and your unstable lifestyle can ruin your youth. Everybody would start to age, but every individual aged differently. Exercising and eating healthy food can do you wonders.
- Honesty is a lonely word. But essential.
Be true to yourself like you are to others. If you know that you have a problem, be honest and take action. Don't convince yourself that you are just imagining things. Its the same as when you tell someone that you're having a problem, the only reply you've got was 'it's all in your head'. Don't put yourself down by rejecting YOU!
- The grass is always greener on the other side.
If things doesn't work out as it is supposed to, doesn't mean that life is going against you. I'm a true believer of there's always a reason for everything. Things doesn't work out because better ones are yet to come. Be patient. Life would always surprise you with it's wonders. Embrace the good and the bad.
- Whether you believe in The Almighty or not, faith is important like the air that you breathe.
Personally, I do believe in God as he is the sole reason of my existence. And I'm thankful each day that He had granted me another day, whenever I wake up in the morning. Although you can't see Him physically but with faith, you know that He is there. Every religion (or individuals) have their own sets of believes, but having faith can always give you the ultimate comfort and peace.
I shall list down things that I'm looking forward to do for 2014 soon. Insyallah.
51. Tapping sounds on the keyboard
52. Other people's book collection
53. Anxious feeling before watching a film that I have no knowledge about
54. Clean toilet
55. Fabric materials
56. Sleeping while listening to good music
57. ATM Machine sound when processing your cash
58. Hot food being served
59. Book Hangover
60. Spooning
61. Looking at shiny things
62. Googling about that film I just watched
63. Googling the song that I can't remember from which singer/band/title
64. Talking about random stuff with my girls
65. Talking about girls with my guy friends
66. Steam from hot beverages/food
67. Feathers
68. Laughing when I recall something funny
69. A smile
70. Adventure Time with Finn and Jake!
I have soo much things to catch on like my reviews! Been watching a few movies as I only manage to get limited free time. But today, I have to let something out of my system.
Dear Cory Monteith, the most lovable actor and charater on Glee has departed from this world on July 13th. Cause of death is yet to be revealed however most people are assuming that he has lost his battle of drug and substance use. It been awhile since I felt like a story like this just hit me straight to the guts. I was surprised when I found out, started checking his tweets which I've checked a day before also googling the news.
Although I have no relation with him and my reaction is like a little fangirl-ish, but I've always been respecting him on how he build up his life from a high school dropout to a major actor.
And I'm not afraid to admit that I am a gleek, I even named my car Rachel Berry. Such a pity for someone whose equally talented and kind-hearted to go at a young age. And Lea. I can't imagine the emotions that she's facing right now. As Finchel was the golden couple of Glee, Monchele was the young golden couple of hollywood. And watching Cory declaring his relationship to Lea Michele on Ellen are just too sweet and heartbreaking at the same time.
RIP Cory Monteith, you will be missed. (1982-2013)
As 2013 coming towards us, 2012 has already bid it's own farewell. Especially the fiasco about the Mayan apocalypse and such. There is so many things to recap about this year. A lot of ups and downs, roller coaster rides, although I was determined to make 2012 a little bit boring for once. However, what I am most satisfied about is the fact that I've completed my 2012 New Year's resolution! Alhamdulillah!! All of the sweat and tears has finally been paid off. And without further or due, I would like to reveal my 2012 resolution:
1. Buy a car - I finally manage to get a car! She's a MyVi Premium 1.3, purple in colour and her name is officially.... Rachel Berry! (coz she feels like she's a star and a little bit of a show off. But I love her anyways! :D)
2. Get a stable job - Although it was hard, but I had to say goodbye to the production world. Maybe for now, I'm not sure. However, I am happy with where I am right now. It's a phase for me to explore and who knows, life might take me somewhere that I never thought I would go to.
3. Be Happy - Despite everything that has happened to me, I chose to move one step ahead. I'm still trying to let go bits of my past but I come to realize that I just need to let go all of these baggage that I've been dragging for years.
I've been following this blogger for quite some time now. She gives me inspiration on what to wear and also her achievements at a young age is very aspiring. As I was doing my usual routine (come home, watch my favourite tv shows, ramble through Youtube and other social network) I saw an update. Reading THIS made me think for a second. A lot of questions asked, a lot of uncertainties, a lot of 'if's. All of this would not only twist your brain, your heart, your sanity. It would also makes you question yourself. Are you that worth it to be experiencing something so powerful yet so destructive as this?
Humans live to love. Love is the most subjective thing that people would just define it in several ways as they felt it's suited for them. Love could be being with that special someone, sharing your moments, past, present and future with them. Love can be giving something that you have just because you feel like they are the less fortunate. Love could be watching somebody you cared deeply, happy, even though you're not the one who's giving it to them. Love can also be letting go, for the benefit of others and yourself. Love is life.
I'm not good when it comes to love. I've always been searching for things that I find impossible to get my hands on. I'd almost defined myself as a girl who wants something that she knows that she couldn't have eventually became obsessed over it. Yes, I went that low, girls have their phrases right? But then, when you think about it, sometimes we just don't know the actual meaning of love. Love is not something physical like the rain, love is not invisible like the wind, but one thing that they have in common is, YOU CAN FEEL IT.
I just wish that love could break all barriers in my life, so I could find peace in love.
41. Realized that I still have a little bit balance in my Starbucks card.
42. The chill weather in a bright sky.
43. Nescafe/coffee in the morning,evening & night.
44. The smell of clean clothes.
45. Wearing my baby RayRay.
46. Waiting patiently for things that I've always wanted to have.
47. Eating fried food.
48. Roadtrip with bunch of crazy people.
49. Entering an art gallery.
50. Eating ice cream by the lake.
51. The blur expression on my niece when I confused her.
52. Watching Zooey Deschanel on New Girl.
53. Men in suits.
54. Learning a new song.
55. Chocolate Chip Cookies
56. Floral printed fabric.
57. Watching Joseph Gordon Levitt's films.
58. Twirling on a new dress.
59. The click sound when you press a pen.
60. Land on a shoulder to cry on.
It's been a while since I've updated this. Been working, so I tend to sleep very early. Felt like I'm one of those characters in a movie where my life revolves with waking up very early, taking the bus, work on a desk, go back, be miserable in my room while eating lots and lots of chocolate. (Wait! That is technically what I've been doing this couple of months.) Anyway, what made me different from those girls in the movies is that, there would be a moment, a scene, where a high-profile, successful man suddenly comes out of nowhere bumps into this miserable woman. They fell in love, and the story goes on. But not me, nope. I rather have a relationship with myself. And high-profile dude? Won't happen.
I recently discovered that there's something missing in my life. I had a very hard week and I didn't know how to pick myself up. Then I realized that what made me more miserable is expectations. Whether it's big or small. So I opened up to my girls, my besties. I re-gain that strength slowly, and started to walk. Even though it's hard but I had to keep going, leaving everything behind, I had to. I realized as well that it's okay for me to feel what I'm feeling right now, coz that what makes me human. I had this thought for a short period of time that I might finally be a heartless bitch for once. Someone that doesn't care about other's feelings, others that doesn't know me well enough to share my pain, my happiness. I am, again, in a sort period of time, disappointed.
I shall go and snuggle under my blanket now. Au Revoir.
